Blondie-Dreamer

It's amazing how years and years can go by but everything just repeats itself. Repeating the same mistakes, having the same issues occur, it's just all the same. I just updated my journal.... Yup

Everything is so different now. It's amazing how quickly your life can change. I haven't updated my journal in a really long time. Every time I actually glanced at my last one or attempted to write a new one it never ended well. (Obviously. Hence the lack of update.) All I've done is watch my life pass me by. It's as if I'm watching a movie that I already know the ending to. A sequence of events passing me by like time is whirling around me as all the possibilities,  could have beens, and should have beens, disappear. I know every move I COULD make. I know every move I SHOULD make, but none of them happen. I see things I want to do but tryi

I really do. As strange as that seems I hate days off. Nights are the worst. There's no one to talk to and nothing to do. The only thing I can do is think. And bad things happen when I start to think. I just hate it. I'm so tired of it. I wish I could just go to sleep, but in a way I really hate sleeping anymore. I wish there were people up this late for me to talk to. Most of the people I know go to bed waaaay before me. There are a few that stay up later, but very few even talk to me. No matter how bad I want to talk to them I know I'd just annoy them. I've thought of a bunch of things to keep my brain dead basically. I've read and I ju